Get ready for school
Get to school at 8:11 (one minute late)
Wander around on Hoagie-bread's orders (IE, getting a butt-load of books)
Go to tiny, New-Hampshire-esque room to sit for 5 hours.
Anyone who is anyone in junior high will be saying to themselves right now: WAIT! Who's Hoagie-bread?
Answer: My principal. Who my mom, the author of There's Gotta be More than This, un-affectionately calls Douchenozzle.
And why a butt-load of books and the New-Hampshire-esque room?
Answer: I had an in-school suspension today! Fun, fun, and more fun. NOT!!
That's what you get when you don't do your science project! (said in sickly-sweet, Professor-Umbridge-esque voice)
After band, but before lunch, Hoagie-bread beckoned me to the office and told me about my suspension. That's how I found out.
Oh, and the New-Hampshire-esque part is because the room is shaped kinda like New Hampshire. Yeah, go find a map and take a look at it! That's a bit what the room looks like.
Fast forward to like 9:45 this morning. I'm sittin' in the room, havin' tons of un-fun, hopin' it'll get funner. Yes, funner. Tom says it's a word, so why can't it be?
Anyway. Hoagie-bread, who will forever on in this post be called HB, like the pencil, had said earlier that I could go home to get- I mean look for- my CPD packet. CPD's are chapter summaries used for book reports. So, I needed info for my reading project, which is a family tree due about a month ago, and I thought I could ask Mom. So, I had HB call up Mom, got my huge coat and walked home. Sadly, I couldn't find the CPD packet. But I did get info for my family tree!
Back to Room Hampshire. I need more info for my tree, so I text Mom. A big no-no, but I'm all aloney-on-my-owney in a teeny-weeny room. Why the hell not text Mom?
By the end of the suspension, I had ninety-five peoples' names down for the tree.
After a doctor's appointment, I continued work on my magnificent(ly screwed-up and huge) family tree. I taped two pieces of cardboard together and scratched out some guide-lines, then filled in the ninety-five names I had SO FAR. Afterward, Mom gave me more to put down. I added about thirty-six, giving me a grand-total of ONE HUNDRED THIRTY-ONE freaking people on my family tree! There are quite a few more left un-added, too, including three of my classmates. My family is screwed up.
Oh, and, this project gave me an interest in genealogy, which I have learned to spell correctly! Yay! But I doubt that Ancestry.com will accept one person having three parents. That's like some weird sci-fi novel waiting to happen. Oh, and the fact that I have no legal father! The law recognizes me as a sperm-donor baby!
I have as many half-siblings as my biological father. Three
I am, in a very screwed up way that includes marriage, cousins' father's sisters, and so much more screwiness, related to a classmate whose father worked with my uncle. They're both tattoo-artists!
I am related, through the same side of the family as before, related to another classmate who I used to be best friends with. In preschool.
I am also related to a third classmate. But not through the same side of the family! This time it's through a great-great aunt's marriage and grand-kids.
My uncle is dating his daughter-in-law, whose husband left her for her sister.
I just learned how to spell screwiness!
I have over 50 cousins.
If I had REALLY wanted to confuse my reading teacher, who I shall call 7up as a play on her last name, I could have included those three classmates AND my grandma's biological parents! 'Cause she was adopted.
7up is gonna be really surprised when she sees my family tree. I titled it: "My Large (and fairly messed-up) Family Tree (with 131 people) By RJ, 5th hour Reading
I included my last name, but for my own protection, I didn't include it. Tee hee!
As my BFF Ash would say, UNDERWEAR!